I know all of these quotes came out of my mom's mouth on more than one occasion! I know we passed them along to our kids, too.
1. *My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE*.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. *My mother taught me RELIGION*.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. *My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL*.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. *My mother taught me LOGIC*.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. *My mother taught me MORE LOGIC*.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. *My mother taught me FORESIGHT*.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. *My mother taught me IRONY*.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to really cry about."
8. *My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS*.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. *My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM*.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. *My mother taught me about STAMINA*.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. *My mother taught me about WEATHER*.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. *My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY*.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. *My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE*.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. *My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION*.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. *My mother taught me about ENVY*.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. *My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION*.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. *My mother taught me about RECEIVING*.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. *My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE*.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. *My mother taught me ESP*.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. *My mother taught me HUMOR*.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21.. *My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT*.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. *My mother taught me GENETICS*.
"You're just like your father."
23. *My mother taught me about my ROOTS*.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. *My mother taught me WISDOM*.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
25. *My mother taught me about JUSTICE*.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
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